Debunking the “happily ever after” myth
The relationship you desire isn’t something you just walk into. It’s what you co-create with your partner.
Women grew up with the fairy tales of a Prince Charming coming to save them from something challenging in their life and give them everything they’ve ever desired after this majestic ritual of a wedding. This rose-colored view of “happily ever after” has lead to numerous disappointments, arguments, and ruined relationships.
Here’s the men’s version that came from porn or
NO ONE can live up to that.
It’s even worse when the other person doesn’t have a clue of what that idealized version even looks like.
Nowadays, more and more people aren't just looking for anyone to spend their life with, but asking their soulmates—that “one” person they're meant to be with, determined by destiny. Because of all the assumptions and expectations that come with that, the word “soulmate” is becoming a really loaded label with a high benchmark to live up to in your own mind and someone else's one, too.
Now pair that with the belief that the “right” relationship for them automatically results in a “happily ever after”. Things should just be easy. Everything is in the perfect alignment… all without much effort required. People can get so caught up in their specific vision of what it needs to look like that any signs of differences or conflicts turn into a “oh, I guess we weren't meant to be".
The automatic “happily ever after” is a myth. Please shift it in your mind. It has turned into an excuse because one or both sides aren't willing to face themselves—their baggage, limiting beliefs, fears, and doubts. So they project all their issues onto their partners and blame them in some way, because this didn't turn out to be the “perfect” relationship they're looking for.
Efforts abandoned. Communication breaks down. Walls are built back up. Connections fade. Relationship over. Then they go back out in the dating world with the same baggage. Hoping with the next person, these similar issues wouldn't be there anymore. But instead, they play out the exact pattern with the new person.
Relationships take effort, no matter who you're with. The important part is finding someone who is willing to go all in with you through the ups and downs of life as a team.
Here's an excerpt for my latest blog post where I talk about the myth and what are the efforts required to create a more conscious relationship that works for you and your partner. Consider these points whether you're single and looking or if you're already in a relationship right now.
Fairy tales, movies, television, etc. often portray the ”right” relationship of the soulmate caliber with the “happily ever after” effect. We see the results of the happy couples and assume it was perfect to begin with. However, what it takes to create that “perfect” relationship isn’t as exciting to see on screen. Drama and conflict are what make us on-the-edge-of-the-seat excited and glued to the screen. The “mundane” little things that build a strong and healthy relationship don’t create that same effect.
THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DEEPLY DESIRE IS SOMETHING YOU CO-CREATE, NOT MANIFEST
What you manifest is being with the person who has a similar vision and is willing to build that life with you. That is the “right” person you’re looking for.
So how do you co-create your soulmate caliber relationship and your “happily ever after”? It takes time and intentional effort to do the following:
- Fully commit to the relationship
- Put in the intentional and continual effort to nurture your relationship
- Have the hard conversations and face challenges head on… together
- Be open and transparent with each other
Click on the post below to learn more about each bullet point listed and reflect on the questions provided.
Create what you want into existence.