Build a relationship that lasts
Discover the two core elements for a conscious relationship with your partner that’ll endure through the ups and downs of life.
Relationships nowadays are complicated enough, and the pandemic really, really tested each of them. They either got stronger or broke up. Being stuck in a confined space together during quarantine meant they couldn’t hide from their relationship issues anymore. It surfaced any underlying challenges, forced couples to face them head on, and play the game of survival-of-the-fittest-relationship.
It made me wonder what it takes to build a relationship that lasts. We've all gotten some sort of advice on this from a variety of sources (whether they’re reliable or not is another story), and I've distilled it down to two core elements, which might not be what you've expected.
Here's an excerpt from my blog that addresses this topic:
Compared to the past, people now have more options and less stigma to stay together or part ways. Marriage isn’t always “til death do us part” anymore but “til we choose divorce”. Relationships aren’t always monogamous, nor only between a man and a woman anymore. The modern family structure nowadays isn’t as simple as it used to be.
With all these complexities in life and in relationships, how do you build something that lasts? Build a conscious relationship with your partner.
WHAT IS A CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIP?
A conscious relationship is cocreated purposefully with intention. If you’re in the relationship just to satisfy your own personal needs or heal your own wounds, it might work for a short period of time, but eventually, the relationship will unravel or feel unsatisfying because you didn’t cocreate a joint purpose as a couple beyond the traditional get married, have kids, and have a companion. Your purpose together must have more depth to withstand the changes in life and the evolution of both individuals with time. The creation of a conscious relationship is two-fold:
1 - OPENNESS + TRANSPARENCY
It requires clarity and intentional choice from both sides to know and share: - what kind of relationship you want - how you love + want to be loved - where your boundaries are - what are your nonnegotiables - what are your needs, wants, and triggers This takes ownership of who you are and responsibility for what kind of relationship you want to create.
Read the full blog where I dive deeper into this and share the second element to complete the creation of a conscious relationship.
A conscious relationship does take two to build. Both sides have to be willing to go all in the relationship together and do what it takes to make it work. Half-assed attempts can only get you so far, and one determined person cannot carry the relationship for both people.
Oftentimes, we get comfortable and complacent. As life gets busy, it’s easy to just fall into a regular rhythm and routine that has just become expected. It’s the equivalent of the hamster wheel when people talk about their careers⏤the same churn day-in and day-out. *Alarms going off* Warning! Warning! You both just went unconscious in your relationship.
Hope one of you is at least conscious of that and does something to take a stand for the relationship and pivot. It could be jarring, especially if that hamster wheel has been running for a while. But know that returning back to being more intentional and conscious with your relationship will be well worth it in the long run.
Cheers to cocreating a conscious relationship with your partner!
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